How “Daddy” affects your job: psychologist – Successes or failures of employees in the workplace can be traced to what kind of father they had, a psychologist argues in a new book.
In “The Father Factor,” Stephan Poulter lists five styles of fathers — super-achieving, time bomb, passive, absent and compassionate/mentor — who have powerful influences on the careers of their sons and daughters. Children of the “time-bomb” father, for example, who explodes in anger at his family, learn how to read people and their moods. Those intuitive abilities make them good at such jobs as personnel managers or negotiators, he writes. But those same children may have trouble feeling safe and developing trust, said Poulter, a clinical psychologist who also works with adolescents in Los Angeles area schools. “I’ve seen more people hit their heads on what they call a glass ceiling or a cement wall in their careers, and it’s what I call the father factor,” Poulter said in an interview. “What role did your father have in your life? It’s this unknown variable which has this huge impact because we’re all sons and daughters.”
Styles of fathering can affect whether their children get along with others at work, have an entrepreneurial spirit, worry too much about their career, burn out or become the boss, Poulter writes.Even absent fathers affect how their children work, he writes, by instilling feelings of rejection and abandonment. Those children may be overachievers, becoming the person their father never was, or develop such anger toward supervisors or authority figures that they work best when they are self-employed, he writes. “A lot of people say, ‘I never knew my dad,”‘ he said. But, he added: “You knew the myth, you knew your mother’s hatred, you knew your anger, you knew your dad was a loser. Trust me, you knew your dad.
“The father’s influence in the workplace is really one of the best-kept secrets,” he said. Poulter co-authored an earlier book on mothers and daughters called “Mending the Broken Bough.” “The Father Factor” is set for release next month by Prometheus Books. Looking at the influence of fathers fits with other recent research on workplace behavior, said William Pollack, a psychology professor and director of the Centers for Men and Young Men at McLean Hospital, part of Harvard Medical School.
“There’s been a good deal of research to show not only that our family-life experience and our experience with our parents affects our personality, but it affects our corporate personality, both as leaders and followers,” said Pollack, author of “Real Boys.” “There’s also good research to show that for men and women, the way they identify with their father and their father’s role may well affect how they interact as a manager or leader in the workplace.” Poulter, by the way, describes his own father as the absent type. After this book, he said, “my dad won’t even talk to me.”
By Ellen Wulfhorst Fri May 12, 2:07 PM ET NEW YORK (Reuters) (Link)
This story makes me wonder about some of ths students on my bus. Especially the one that I am going to tell you about next post. (I was just taking a breather from typing and read this article.)
I do believe that our parents have a huge impact on who we are in life though and whether we turn out or not. I believe that everyone is basically a reflection of there parents either they loved and wanted to be just like there parents or they didnâ€™t like and want to change so much about them. I think there is a definite role though. Like for example, I think my parents are good people generally, not people I aspire to be like, but generally good.
Neither takes the time to stop and smell the roses. They never seem to just relax and enjoy there work. There is always something to improve or something to do, something to gain. I myself strive, literally make an effort of stop relax look at what was done and enjoy it for a few minutes. (Which is why I am being successful at continuing to write in here.) I like the simple stuff like the fact that my husband can enjoy a football game with total disregard for things around him. Sometimes I enjoy watching him with this carefreeness more than the stuff going on that is making him carefree. My parents could never do that. They would never want to though, so this doesnâ€™t make them bad. It is just different styles and it has affected me personally.
I am sure everyone can have something like this that makes them opposite of there parents though.
Now, my parents were very good and I want to aspire to be like them in some ways. Like with Kyra, my parents were very good with supporting our school work and rewarding us when we were good. I always looked forward to our â€œPersonal Dayâ€ away from school once every semester. Mom or Dad would do something special (our choice of event basically) with us on any day we chose and we could miss school if our grades were good. I would usually go shopping and go to the livestock auction on my day. My parents reason was that the teachers got â€œpersonal daysâ€ off, so why shouldnâ€™t the students. We always wrote a great excuse though of how dramatically sick we were on the day of the event though, so we didnâ€™t get unexcused abcense. I will for sure do this with Kyra when she is old enough. Those days I missed school to go someplace with my parents were some of the funnest days of my childhood and I hope that I can pass that on to Kyra.
Well, there you go another opinion ariticle. Bye…