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This was the end of the last post, but it got to be it’s own post because I go on and on.

I came in from all the days events and had planned on calling in the motherhood uncensored radio show. I had never called before….I listen though almost weekly to the show always late. It was titled “When Parents Hurt” this week. I very much sucked in my comments and it doesn’t even make sense. I have to have a planned thought next time, if I ever do that again.

Here is the ending of my story…I didn’t stop talking to my parents simply because my brother had a baby (Haley) which is what it sounds like. I stopped because the birth of the baby made my mom so mean that she screamed at me for 3 hours and said every mean thing she could have said to me. Including that she should have killed me when she had a chance….like I talked about a few posts ago. She also accused me of having an affair on my husband…(No never happened. No never will happen, sorry guys.) She told me how I have ruined her life.

She or my dad never abused me though, I have to clear that up. The show seemed to gravitate around parents that were abusive or alcoholic and mine were not. I have just mean hateful parents.

Here let me give you an example. My mom particularly..sometimes waited up for me to get home from work when I was 19 in college trying to move out again. I worked at a grocery store until usually 1 am, so I would get home 1:30 am. She didn’t wait for me to make sure I was home safely. She waited up for me because it was my night to do the dishes and she wanted to make sure they got done by me.

I had Kyra and she was 5 days old. My mom came down to “help”. She told me what an awful parent I would be, accused me for freezing my baby (in July), and told me how awful I looked. I was crying a ton and Adam asked her about it and they got all moody like they really thought this was help. They then left which was welcome end to it really. Yes, some helpful things were done in this time too. My dad installed new lights on my ceiling fan in my living room. He also fixed a light switch I was having trouble with. The repair things they did would have been done though without them.

It is just this constant mean that I won’t put up with any more. I don’t want mean people in my life. I am grateful that I live 200 miles away from them.

Like I said before though…I won’t stop them from seeing Kyra ever. I won’t be the one making the effort though either. They can make an effort to be in Kyra’s life if they want to, but that is up to them.

It does hurt me that I feel this way about them. I try to tell myself not to and all the things you do to convince yourself that you are wrong. I guess I also now find validation in the fact that my brother has basically the same relationship as I do with them and he lives like 5 miles away.

This is my brother that him and I always seemed opposites. He was the kiss butt of the family and got away with so much. He has this sly innocent smile that even fooled me sometimes. It always seemed like I was getting heat as a kid and he was sliding under the radar and pulling the wool over our parents.

My parents always told me I was jealous of him. Yeah, they told me… I had no idea what jealous meant really. I now have a concept of it much better. I never really was jealous for the most part except of the fact that my brother always seemed to have friends his age to support him. I sort of floated alone without friends, so it seemed things were harder on me than him. I think that this alone time though made me stronger today and I am a pretty strong personality and confident because of it. I am no longer holding even the slightest jealousy of my brother…if that was jealousy back then.

Well, this post is long enough. I know that if you want to flame me because of my relationship with my parents. That is welcome…it won’t change anything more than likely though. I also wouldn’t mind hearing your crazy bad parent stories on here either, if you have them.