Select Page

The New Year is here. My celebration was unlike any celebration of the New Year before. I basically stood in a shed, drinking Bourbon and Pepsi. Kyra slept in the other room. I was drinking the least only had 3 or 4 drinks total and not strong at that.

I stood talking and laughing with 5 drunk men. There were ladies there, but they were in the house watching a movie I had already seen and while it was okay. I didn’t need to see again. At midnight, the men all got guns out and started blasting into the sky. They must have sent 50 rounds off.

I stood contemplating though, what is going on with my life. I imagine that this is what you are supposed to do with the coming of a new year. I am at a crossroads that I never imagined being at.

My life can go in several directions from here and I am basically very confused.

1.) The first direction is get a full time job and go to college part time. This is probably the smartest option financially in the present. It would take me about 4 years to finish my degree with this approach, but I would have a slight amount of spending money through these years. I would have to pay full price to college more than likely.

Now, I have been looking for a full time job, but I haven’t really found one that I am willing to do except one an hour south of me, which is really dumb because Adam lives an hour north of me. Kyra would be 2 hours away from me if I worked there, so it isn’t happening.

2.) The second direction is to say screw it, stay driving my bus to pay my bills. While going to college full time plus some. This option would entail signing up for every single help program there is, to assist getting my bills paid.

I am not one to ask for help though even when everyone tells me that this is what those programs are for. I mean things like health insurance for Kyra and stuff. I still pay for that out of my small income instead of going with Chips or whatever programs I definitely qualify for. I would probably get food stamps too in this time. I would exhaust all the government available college funding.

This option I would probably have my degree by the end of next school year. It would essentially be 18 months of complete studying all the time.

What do you think of my options for college?? What would you do?? Do you see more options??

There are other details of my life all in questions too.

Some of my older friendships are on the rocks because of my relationship issues and religion basically. I don’t think they will survive honestly.

I don’t know where my relationship with Stephen is going. It is nice now of course, but thinking of the whole next year. Man, I can’t think that far ahead. It is still positively crazy that I am divorced this year from where I was in life last year. I do find it amazing that Stephen is almost exactly my same religious opinion and political opinion though, I think that it has to be hard to find in a person. It is crazy to agree with someone on those hard topics which most of the time, I am the odd one out in my opinion.

There is one known positive though and that is Kyra. She is going to be my shining star and positive force for the entire year.

So, bring on 2008. It is going to be one heck of a roller coaster ride around here probably, so be warned.